"Hard Partying and Bible Study, at the Fraternity House"

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/03/07/us/07greek.html?_r=1&ref=fraternitiesandsororities

This article, called "Hard Partying and Bible Study, at the Fraternity House" was published in the New York Times on March 6, 2011.  It is about a conference that was held in Indianapolis by the Greek InterVarsity campus group.  This group is an evangelical christian group located on many campuses throughout the United States that promotes bible study and christianity in sororities and fraternities.  The article makes many references to the stereotypes the greek community is typically given and acts surprised that these students were able to conduct themselves so well for a weekend at a hotel.  The conference was held at the hotel and the hotel staff commented nicely about the students.  The conference had many students from a wide variety of sororities and fraternities.  Some students were quoted talking about the conference, saying how they liked it and how they themselves try to individually implement bible study within their own fraternity/sorority and the values that come with their christianity (like not believing in drinking or having sex before marriage).  Some of them talked about the hardships they face while trying to implement these things.

I think this is a really cool article.  I have never been one to be super involved in my faith or bible study.  I don't go to church often or push my faith onto others, so I don't have a connection to this article in that sense.  I just really think it is awesome that some students from around the US are coming together and trying to create positive change in the greek community.  They talked about how they try to support their brothers and sisters; they help them through bad times, tell them when enough is enough, and hold open bible studies in the houses.  I think this is what should be happening in our community.  They are stepping up to come together like a family.  They are looking out for each other and ignoring the bystander effect.  Regardless of our faith or beliefs, I think we should have this group on our campus because it is really good to know that you have it there for you if you need it.  You have a group of really good brothers and sisters that can be there for you and that you can talk to about deeper and more meaningful things.  And I know there are a lot of people in the greek community that are religious and would love to have bible studies or just a group of friends who also share some of their beliefs.  Faith can be a really powerful instrument for making deep connections and long lasting friendships.  And I think one thing that the greek community needs most right now is stronger and more meaningful connections between its members so that we can support one another and help the community as a whole prosper.  I think that's what these students in the InterVarsity group are essentially doing, and it is comforting to know that there is a news article out there in support of what greeks are doing (as apposed to the ones that I came across with negative/horrible headlines).  They kept saying that it is not news when the greek community does what it is supposed to do, but I think this is evidence against that argument. :)

The Bystander Effect

I have definitely been a bystander.  Probably more times than I know.  I think it is easy to be a bystander and not even realize that you are being one.  There is one particular time that comes to mind for me.  It was my junior year in high school and I was in my 4th period economics class.  I sat by a couple of my friends in the back of the room; they weren't my closest friends but we got along very well and hung out during school.  One of them was a girl ( we will call her Beth).  She was very funny and always fun to be around.  She would joke often and was always seen laughing.  Now, she was not the prettiest girl and never had the cutest clothes.  But for most of us, this did not matter and did not draw attention.  None of her friends cared what she looked like or what she wore because she was such a genuine person and a great friend.  However, there were some other boys in the class that were always being rowdy and trying to cause a ruckus.  They constantly caused attention to themselves and everyone in the class knew this and didn't necessarily like this about them.  On this day, one of them in particular was being obnoxious.  I can't remember exactly what had happened or what was exactly said, but the teacher could not calm this boy down and he kept making stupid remarks.  I can't remember exactly, but I think that (Beth) ended up calling him out for it or telling him to calm down or something of the sort.  Well, this apparently angered this boy because he just blew up on her.  He told her to shut up and ended up calling her a bunch of names, one of which was "lesbian."  I'm sure that he used this word in a more derogative way, but that is what I remember about the incident.  Almost immediately, another boy in the class started laughing hysterically.  And surprisingly, this boy was a more calm and nicer boy.  But for whatever reason, he thought that it was so funny that he could not stop laughing for at least 5 minutes.  To my surprise, no one defended (Beth).  No one said or did anything, they just watched as this happened, confused about what to think.  I think some people didn't know whether to laugh, and others seemed annoyed and wanted it all to stop.  But no one said a word, not even her closest friends.  Not even the teacher.  He just let it go, told everyone to stop talking, and kept on with class.  Poor (Beth) just sank down in her chair and looked down at the ground for the rest of the class.  She ended up committing suicide not long after this day.  I don't want to say that this was the cause, because I am sure that there were lots of other reasons for her to do such a thing, but I know that it clearly made her upset.  And no one stepped in.  No one let her know that they care, and it makes me feel so horrible to this day.  I constantly wonder: what if I or someone else had stepped up to defend her that day?  What if someone let her know that they cared or that they were there for her?  Would she still be here today?  If I could go back to that point in time, I would stand up for her.  I have so many things that I would say to her.  And it just shows that this bystander effect, it really is bad.  It is something small, and you don't think twice about it when it occurs, but it can have some really horrible outcomes.  So I really hope that people can start to fight this effect and stand up for others and what they believe in no matter what. 

This effect obviously pertains to our Greek community in many ways.  People tend to think that what others do is their business and they don't want to step in and say "you've had too much to drink and need to stop" or "maybe you shouldn't walk home with that person you just met" or even "you seem pretty upset, are you okay?"  This effect really can occur anywhere. And espcially since there are a few typical things that happen widely in the Greek community (like a person drinking too much or becoming too involved with a person they just met), there is wide opportunity for the bystander effect to occur. 

Oath.

I figured before I talked about the word "oath," I should probably state the Webster's Dictionary definition of it.  So here it is:
Oath- a (1) : a solemn usually formal calling upon God or a god to witness to the truth of what one says or to witness that one sincerely intends to do what one says (2) : a solemn attestation of the truth or inviolability of one's words

When we talked about oath in class, I think we pretty much assumed that it follows this definition.  The word truth is very important here, and also the fact that we must do what we say we will.  We touched apon how we all take an oath when we join our sororities or fraternities.  We said this oath was a promise to uphold the values of our organization and that it's also a promise to hold our brothers and sisters accountable for the same values.  This second part is really important, and we said that most of the time we tend to fail at it.  We want to hold our brothers and sisters accountable, but it ends up being too hard for us sometimes.  We don't want to hurt their feelings or deal with them being upset with us.  It becomes hard to blame others for things that we ourselves are not perfect at. Others in the class even said they'd fear the backlash of others in the organization.  There are lots of reasons why we don't want to/can't hold others accountable.  I think that we need to find ways to overcome these fears and come together as one community that will always be there for one another, in good times and bad.  I think that when we take an oath to join our organization, we should also be thinking about how this oath affects the greek community in general.  I think it should encompass more than just your organization.  I think that by upholding your organization's values, you are in a way promising to uphold the values of the entire greek community.  When we think about it in this way, it adds much more of a sense of community and closeness to all greek organizations as a whole. 

On the subject of this closeness, I think it needs to be said that the greek community here could be doing a lot more to be really unified.  We are off to a start, but when I walk down 15th I don't necessarily feel like everyone I see outside are my brothers and sisters.  Maybe I'm just a little naive, but I think it should feel like we are all brothers and sisters.  Not neccessarily in the "family" way, but I think a sense of closeness or friendship should be shared and understood between all greek members.  If we can get this to happen, I think it will be a ton easier to organize events as a whole or get more involved in the university as a whole.  I think this is really the reason why I am taking this class to begin with; I want to be able to make a difference, lead the community through example, and take positive action to get the greek community more involved on campus.  The only problem is I don't know how to do this or where to begin.  I think this is something we should be addressing in class.  It would be awesome if we could all work together to find simple ways in which we can begin this journey, because that is why I enrolled in this class in the first place.

Citizenship

First of all, the Social Change Model defines citizenship as:

Not simply membership, but active engagement in community
Civic responsibility which works towards social change
The practice of good citizenship should and needs to happen at every level of the model

I believe I am displaying citizenship within the fraternity/sorority community by actively participating in our philanthropy and others' philanthropies.  Philanthropies aim to help others and work towards positive social change, so by participating in any events that are for philanthropy I am helping work towards positive social change and not just simply being a member of my sorority.  An example of this is when I will be going to the Columbus Speech and Hearing Institute this Saturday to help them out with organizing/setting up/carrying out a garage sale. I would also really like to become a guard for my sorority.  By being a guard I would become more actively involved in our ritual and be able to become more integrated into my chapter.  When members become more active in their chapters, I think it in turn adds to what the chapter as a whole can do to promote positive social change and its citizenship in the community.  I still feel that I could be doing much more to become a better citizen of the community; I think everyone in the fraternity/sorority community definitely has room to become more actively involved in their organization and/or community. 

I believe my sorority is displaying citizenship within the fraternity/sorority community also when it collectively contributes to any philanthropy.  The reasons are the same as before.  Also, one of the reasons why I wanted to join a sorority was because I believed they actively engaged in the community around them.  I knew they actively engaged in community service and that was one thing I wanted to be a part of.  However, I still believe there is much more we could be doing to be better citizens in the community.  I think that mostly, each sorority and fraternity tend to do their own thing.  They each have their own philanthropies and interests.  They do help and participate in each other's philanthropies at times, but there could be much more of this.  The reason I use philanthropy as my main example is because that's the first thing that comes to mind when I think of actively participating in the community and working towards positive social change.  That kind of goes to show that maybe there are more things we could come up with that effect positive change than just philanthropy.

Maybe this is because I am a newly initiated member, but I really don't know of many ways that the sorority/fraternity community displays citizenship within the greater university community.  Many of the individual members of the community are involved in many other organizations on campus, but I do not know of any ways in which the community as a whole collaborates with campus organizations to accomplish something or help them out.  I think this is wrong and really needs to happen more/ start happening.  It is obvious that the fraternity/sorority community needs to become closer together and start acting as one whole group to effect positive change in the world.  I don't think we are by any means to that level yet.  It all seems too separated to me, and I think that one of the goals of this class is to teach us how to combat this and  better our community.  I am not sure why this hasn't been adressed yet, but I think it is important to draw attention to this and make it a goal for the up and coming leaders of the community.