The Bystander Effect

I have definitely been a bystander.  Probably more times than I know.  I think it is easy to be a bystander and not even realize that you are being one.  There is one particular time that comes to mind for me.  It was my junior year in high school and I was in my 4th period economics class.  I sat by a couple of my friends in the back of the room; they weren't my closest friends but we got along very well and hung out during school.  One of them was a girl ( we will call her Beth).  She was very funny and always fun to be around.  She would joke often and was always seen laughing.  Now, she was not the prettiest girl and never had the cutest clothes.  But for most of us, this did not matter and did not draw attention.  None of her friends cared what she looked like or what she wore because she was such a genuine person and a great friend.  However, there were some other boys in the class that were always being rowdy and trying to cause a ruckus.  They constantly caused attention to themselves and everyone in the class knew this and didn't necessarily like this about them.  On this day, one of them in particular was being obnoxious.  I can't remember exactly what had happened or what was exactly said, but the teacher could not calm this boy down and he kept making stupid remarks.  I can't remember exactly, but I think that (Beth) ended up calling him out for it or telling him to calm down or something of the sort.  Well, this apparently angered this boy because he just blew up on her.  He told her to shut up and ended up calling her a bunch of names, one of which was "lesbian."  I'm sure that he used this word in a more derogative way, but that is what I remember about the incident.  Almost immediately, another boy in the class started laughing hysterically.  And surprisingly, this boy was a more calm and nicer boy.  But for whatever reason, he thought that it was so funny that he could not stop laughing for at least 5 minutes.  To my surprise, no one defended (Beth).  No one said or did anything, they just watched as this happened, confused about what to think.  I think some people didn't know whether to laugh, and others seemed annoyed and wanted it all to stop.  But no one said a word, not even her closest friends.  Not even the teacher.  He just let it go, told everyone to stop talking, and kept on with class.  Poor (Beth) just sank down in her chair and looked down at the ground for the rest of the class.  She ended up committing suicide not long after this day.  I don't want to say that this was the cause, because I am sure that there were lots of other reasons for her to do such a thing, but I know that it clearly made her upset.  And no one stepped in.  No one let her know that they care, and it makes me feel so horrible to this day.  I constantly wonder: what if I or someone else had stepped up to defend her that day?  What if someone let her know that they cared or that they were there for her?  Would she still be here today?  If I could go back to that point in time, I would stand up for her.  I have so many things that I would say to her.  And it just shows that this bystander effect, it really is bad.  It is something small, and you don't think twice about it when it occurs, but it can have some really horrible outcomes.  So I really hope that people can start to fight this effect and stand up for others and what they believe in no matter what. 

This effect obviously pertains to our Greek community in many ways.  People tend to think that what others do is their business and they don't want to step in and say "you've had too much to drink and need to stop" or "maybe you shouldn't walk home with that person you just met" or even "you seem pretty upset, are you okay?"  This effect really can occur anywhere. And espcially since there are a few typical things that happen widely in the Greek community (like a person drinking too much or becoming too involved with a person they just met), there is wide opportunity for the bystander effect to occur.